Two of my favorite people in the world and two of my wife’s favorite people in the world conveniently happen to be the same two people, and even more conveniently they happen to also be a married couple. We all attended the same college, though staggered throughout 4 different graduating classes across 5 years.
Shortly after the last of us graduated, my wife (then girlfriend) and I ended up in Maine, and this other couple friend – let’s call them Jenn and Aaron – were living not far from where Aaron grew up in Massachussets. So here we are, young adults living in that magical window between childhood and rigorous adulthood that some people are lucky enough to experience: we’re out of college, we have jobs, and we’re considering all those next big steps (graduate school, careers, marriage, children, homeownership, and so on). Until we started doing those next things, we were taking advantage of the (very, very, very modest) disposable income we had, and the intensely under-appreciated (at the time) free time we were basically completely in control of.
Perhaps the greatest activity that took advantage of this confluence of time, money, and relative adulthood was something called the LotR Bowl (pronounced low-dur). LotR is an acronym for (if you’re not this particular brand of nerd, or didn’t stop to Google it) Lord of the Rings. Jenn introduced us (and many of our other friends) to her family’s alternative to watching the Super Bowl. Now, this particular event doesn’t require it actually be on Super Bowl Sunday, and in fact I’ve never been a part of one that has, but that is part of its origin story, its mythology if you will.
But what is a LotR Bowl, you may be asking? What we do is watch the Extended Editions of all three Lord of the Rings movies (an 11 hour and 21 minute affair itself), consuming all of the foods and drinks the characters do whilst they do on screen. As you might be imagining, this is quite the undertaking, and requires some days of prep. All of 18 minutes into the first movie we start eating with Bilbo’s birthday cake… and beer. This is followed just a few minutes later with more beer at the Green Dragon, and then – not quite an hour into the movie – we get Farmer Maggot’s crops (a veggie tray, usually) and “Mushroom!” Keep in mind that this is usually coming up on 10 in the morning or so. And then more beer at the Prancing Pony. You see where this is going.
This sounds fun, I know, but why is this on my cannabis blog? Well, prior to our kids being involved in this epic activity, we used to also share pipe-weed – sometimes referred to as “hobbit leaf” – at a minimum of when the hobbits or Gandalf were smoking in the movies. And that got me thinking, what strains of real-world cannabis would I pair with each meal or drink? I am also working on a future post that will explore the different cultivars of hobbit leaf, and the analog real-world strains of cannabis. As for the LotR Bowl and cannabis, well tuck in, because this is a long list. Some of the references aren’t necessarily even foods eaten in the movie, but references to food made by the characters, or even references taken from the books. I’m nothing if not tediously exhaustive.
This post will cover the first movie: The Fellowship of the Ring. The other two movies and the hobbit leaf exploration will follow in additional posts.
Movie #1: The Fellowship of the Ring
“I’m old, Gandalf. I feel thin… stretched. Like butter scraped over too much bread.” – Bilbo Baggins
Food: Buttered toast.
Strain: While I’m tempted to say Buttermilk Biscuits due to the name alone, ultimately I think Mimosa is the strain to go with here. It’s early in the day, so a nice pick-me-up high like that from Mimosa’s fruity tones is a better way to start this ultra-marathon. That and mimosa being a morning drink works well thematically as well.
Bilbo’s Eleventy-first Birthday Cake.. and Beer
Food: Birthday Cake… and Beer. We’ve had blueberry buckle cake, chocolate peanut butter cake, and a 2-tiered espresso tier and maple blueberry tier cake, to name a few. We’ve also enjoyed a variety of breakfast beers.
Strain: Birthday Cake Kush is a match made in heaven here. The name alone put it in first place, but its a body-relaxing strain without as much of the heady grogginess that sometimes accompanies other cake strains. Additionally, it is often found to be a good strain for helping increase appetite, which given the undertaking you’re just beginning, you’ll need all the help you can get. With its rich, buttery baked-good flavor, it is an ideal pairing for actual birthday cake for breakfast.
Drinks at the Green Dragon
Food: More beer.
Strain: We’re lucky enough to have a strain named for this scene with Green Dragon. Green Dragon is a descendant of Afghani, and brings a terpene profile that is more uplifting than heavy, perfect for what is still early on in this endeavor. Need I say more?
Farmer Maggot’s Crops and “Mushrooms!”
Food: Crudites and optional mushroom stew.
Strain: Some of you may be hoping that I’ll be recommending a strain of psilocybin mushrooms here, but alas I will not be. That being said, if that’s your thing, go for it. I simply don’t know enough about different shroom varieties to confidently write about them. For cannabis, my recommended pairing here is going to break with my pattern so far of recommending strains with appropriate names, and instead I’m going with Elvis, a strain that I’ve previously described as tasting both earthy and green, rich and vibrant, like finding mushrooms on a fallen tree the morning after a rain. And given it’s generally uplifting high and lightly relaxed body, I think it suits this scene perfectly.
Aside: Tom Bombadil Interlude
Food: In the book, they eat bread and berries and honeyed goat cheese.
Strain: Roseberry Kush. Something we’ve added to this event occasionally is to pause the movie when they would have met Tom Bombadil in the book. Roseberry Kush is a light and sweet strain, with a mellow and relaxing high, perfectly suited to this magical moment in the story. And I know I keep repeating myself, but given how much this whole affair is front-loaded with heavy meals and drinks, something – anything – on the lighter side should be very welcome. We’re almost an hour in. Only ten and a half to go. Oh, and Tom’s wife’s name is Goldberry.
“It comes in pints?” – Peregrin “Pippin” Took
Food: Pints of beer, specifically Guinness.
Strain: Chocolate Diesel’s rich and pungent flavor I think pairs perfectly with a pint of Guinness (the favored beer for when the hobbits discover while at the Prancing Pony in Bree how large we humans pour our beers). Plus an uplifting high when we’re not yet 10% in shouldn’t be scoffed at.
“What about Second Breakfast?” – Peregrin “Pippin” Took
Food: Apples.
Strain: While a breakfast-related strain may seem like the obvious choice, I like Sour Apple for the reference to Aragorn throwing the apples to Pip and Merry after Pip lists all of the hobbit meals: breakfast, second breakfast, elevensies, luncheon, afternoon tea, dinner, and supper. While Sour Apple may have a heavier and more relaxing high than the strains so far, we’re coming up on one of the longest stretches without a real meal. That is – at least – after we have…
Weathertop Supper
Food: Tomatoes, sausage, “nice crispy bacon.”
Strain: Night Terror, more for the theme of the scene than the theme of the food. This is the scene where Aragorn and the hobbits are camping for the night in the ruins of an old watchtower atop a tall hill. Frodo finds his hobbit companions cooking over an open fire, which Frodo rightfully stomps out, fearing that they will be discovered by the Ringwraiths. Which they do. It’s night, and it is terrifying. And, as noted in Second Breakfast, we’re coming up on a decent stretch of movie that is good for relaxing, as there are more snacks than meals for a couple of hours or more, and this strain is terribly relaxing.
Rivendell Miruvor
Food: Given that Miruvor isn’t real, we’ve had a variety of drinks in its place at this point in the movie: honeyed tea, mead, old fashioneds.
Strain: As Miruvor is a revitalizing drink passed down from the Valar to the elves, a revitalizing but nature-oriented strain seemed fitting here. I’d like to recommend one of my very favorite strains, Lotus Blossom. It’s a clean and uplifting high, lemony and piney in flavor. If you’ve actually been eating, drinking, and smoking everything on this list, you’re only an hour and a half in, and you’ve had buttered bread, birthday cake, veggies, possibly stew, fruit, cheese, bread, apples, tomatoes, sausage, bacon, and beer, beer, and beer, as well as 8 other strains of cannabis. Take it easy.
Lembas Bread at Lothlorian
Food: We’ve used everything from sugar cookies to shortbread to fruity oat bars.
Strain: Congratulations! You’ve reached the second disk (if you’re using the DVD’s, and not streaming it, which I learned was actually available as I was writing this). The latter half of Fellowship is where we start to slow down, as this disk is only scheduled for a single food item. The Lembas Bread given to the Fellowship by the elves of Lothlorian. It’s something of a hardtack-meets-shortbread snack. As it is basic sustenance that does not spoil and which the characters in the story can take with them on their long journey, we generally make a massive pile of this and just leave the tray out for the rest of the event, so that anyone who is somehow hungry throughout the rest of the movies can snack as they wish. But the strain! After much deliberation, I’m going with Blue Cookies, a hybrid of Girl Scout Cookies and Blueberry. A big head high and an excellent pain-relieving body high pair perfectly here to really keep your mind engaged while you chill out a bit during this break in meals.
Aside: Boromir’s Death
As an aside, while there’s no food or drink for the scene where Boromir eats a bunch of orc arrows and dies dramatically while saying to Aragorn “I would have followed you my brother, my captain… my king,” I wanted to note that this scene – this line specifically – is one of those scenes that I swear actually makes me tear up every time. It’s become a bit of a joke among our LotR Bowl family, so much so that at this most recent watching, my aforementioned friend Aaron came up behind me where I was standing, wrapped a quilt around my shoulders, and hugged me (still from behind, big spoon style), while everyone else (my kids included) basically watched me, waiting for my eyes to get all watery. This all took some of the poignance out of the experience, but it was funny for everyone. For those of you who feel the same at this point, I recommend hitting some King’s Bread, for its name, and for its stress-, depression-, and anxiety-reducing properties.
Well, that’s a wrap on Fellowship of the Ring. I hope you’ve enjoyed reading, and I’ll be back next week with more LotR Bowl meals and cannabis. Until then, thanks so much, and don’t forget to follow me on various socials, subscribe and so forth so you don’t miss posts, and see you next time!
Stoned Coast 